Player Stories
Player Story 1
Parallel lives
Michael is a middle-aged Zimbabwean man living in an urban setting in South Africa. He is married to two wives with whom he has had six children and is also attracted to men. Recounting the story of his childhood, Michael reports that his first sexual encounter was an extremely violent one, as he was molested by a 14-year-old male relative when he was 12 years old. He blames this assault for his sexual attraction to men, which he thinks may not have emerged if it weren’t for this early experience. Despite feelings of attraction to men, Michael married his first wife when he was 19 years old, informed by the conventions of his religious tradition. His second marriage was, in his understanding, in part motivated by a desire to reassert his manhood, despite feelings of desire towards other men.
For better work opportunities, Michael migrated to South Africa when he was a young man, leaving his wives and children behind. This move has afforded him the freedom to explore his sexual attraction to men more openly. In South Africa, he explains, he exclusively has relationships and sex with men. Michael believes that many men have same-sex desires, suggesting ‘probably 90% of married men are attracted to other men rather than women’.
Michael does not know specifically when or how he contracted HIV. However, when a mental crisis triggered memories of past sexual violations, he began to suspect that he may have acquired it as a result of the assault. His coach has been a core support for him through his struggles with his past trauma and in navigating his dual identity. His physical and mental health have improved, and he is now successfully navigating ART with the support of his coach. Nonetheless, he is still not ready to disclose his HIV status or sexual behaviour to his wives and family, and he avoids going home to visit his family in Zimbabwe. This is something he is still trying to work through with his coach.
