When it comes to HIV, men experience genuine fear

Loss of life

HIV is still associated with the image of frail, emaciated, dying people. Growing up before effective treatment was widely available, many men experienced HIV-related death directly, losing loved ones to a disease so taboo that it was not even spoken about Many of those childhood associations persist into adulthood.

Loss of intimacy and connection

Men know the stigma of HIV and fear the loss or deterioration of the main relationships in their lives. Their partner might leave them. no other woman will want them, their family will be disappointed in them, and their friends will no longer respect or want to associate with them.

Loss of identity

In a society where masculinity is largely defined by strength and virility, HIV is seen as a sign of weakness. It is also perceived as a threat to a man’s desire to be a provider and protector. 

Loss of lifestyle

Many men fear that their social life - whether it involves sporting, drinking, ‘partying’ or just hanging out with the guys, will come to an end. HIV counselling that emphasizes the negatives—stop drinking, stop smoking, stop eating junk food, stop having so much sex—can reinforce this fear.

Loss of privacy and autonomy

Men fear being exposed in their community as ‘that guy with HIV’, with all the negative connotations that label entails. They also fear a loss of control over their own lives—that the nurse will now make health-related decisions on their behalf, ‘track/trace’ them if they ‘default’, and badger them back onto treatment without regard for their challenges and concerns.

In sum, men’s fears are rooted in HIV stigma and lack of knowledge.

Stigma is created and enforced by social norms and beliefs – the view that people with HIV are ‘less than’ others in whatever regard. Men can experience stigma from others, resulting in isolation and loneliness. They can also internalize it, resulting in feelings of guilt, shame and low self-worth.

Stigma is compounded by lack of knowledge of HIV and HIV treatment. There is still a belief that HIV is the beginning of the end—once you have it, life is over, you are finished. This could not be further from